I hadn't been planning to write anything on gaming for awhile after doing Gaming Week last week. But, events of the day have encouraged me to write one last blog entry.
I've spent a large portion of my evening on the Steam forums and the Castle Story Online forums. And there have been a few people saying some things that I don't necessarily agree with.
Now, before I get into that, I need to say one thing. I did hurl some minor insults at people, calling several people stupid and what not. For that, I am sorry. That is not something I should be doing, affiliated with the devs or not. I will endeavor to avoid doing that anymore in the future. I will stick to facts from here on in.
Alright, let's get into it. The first thing I've heard several people say is that $20 is too much for an early access game.
Well, this doesn't really hold up. The majority of games on Early Access are indeed $20. That's sort of par for the course. It's certainly worth $20, especially when you consider that it doesn't just get you the current version, but the completed version as well once it's done.
Second, back during the Kickstarter, the cheapest thing you could pledge for was beta, which was $15. Now, one of the running themes about kickstarting something is that you typically get something a bit cheaper, since you're supporting a project in it's infancy. If they turned around and offered this version for $15, wouldn't that be a bit of a slap in the face of the beta backers, who've been supporting the game since it's inception?
Another thing I'm hearing brought up a lot is that they were only asking for $80,000, to make a game worth $80,000. And that, even though they got $700,000, they should have still delivered the $80,000 game. This just doesn't make sense to me.
Personally, if I gave someone three-quarters of a million dollars, and they returned something to me that was only worth a tenth of that, I would be mad as hell. I would call them incompetent, I would call them thieves, and I'd scream from the mountaintop how crooked they were to just pocket all that extra money.
Would I like to have a complete version of the Castle Story they originally pitched for $80,000 now, polished and bug free? You bet your ass. But, I'd much rather have a much bigger, much better Castle Story later for $700,000.
There was actually an experiment done with children once. They gave them a marshmallow, and told them they could eat it right then, and it would be done, or they could wait 5 minutes, and get a second marshmallow. Many of the children just ended up eating the marshmallow, and then regretted it when they were told they couldn't have the second. And those that waited were much, much happier.
So come on guys, let Sauropod give us a second marshmallow, we paid for it after all.
Another thing I've heard said was this. Why didn't they just make the originally pitched game, and then build on that with all the extra money? Well, it's really just not that easy. For one, you never see 75% of a game. It's all in the background, it's the framework that holds it all together. All of that needs to be there and be right before you can really add on the stuff you do see.
This means that they couldn't have delivered the originally pitched game, and had the framework in place to build it into what they wanted, and done all of that for $80,000 or within the original time frame. It simply wouldn't have been feasible.
Furthermore, even if they had, you have the be a lot more careful with a fully released game. When something is in early access, bugs are expected. Patches that break things are expected as well. This can't be said for fully released games. If a studio patches a game that's been fully released for it's fully price and it breaks the game for half of the people that play it, that is really, really, really bad news.
I mean, look at EA, they've been doing that for ages. I still remember the debacle that was the 3rd patch for Battlefield 2142. It took them over a year to develop, and borked the game for half the players. And they even had a public alpha for this patch, which was just as broken. Oh, and that public alpha patch? It couldn't be turned into the fully patched version. When they released the full patch, they told everyone that they had to fully uninstall the game, reinstall it, reinstall the DLC, repatch all the previous patches, and then the new patch. It was a nightmare. And if it had been on a game that was an alpha itself, or Early Access, or whatever, I would have been alright with it. But, it wasn't. It was a full, released game that I had paid full price for. And I was pissed.
All of this is sort of a moot point anyway. Fact is, this is where it is. You can say what they should have done all day, but that doesn't change where things are now. They don't have a time machine, they can't go back and develop the 80k version of the game. They can only move forward, not backward. This is the version of the game we've got. It's good, and it works fairly well. And they're going to constantly be adding to it. Let them do it, and stop arguing about what they should have done. It's silly.
September 23, 2013
September 20, 2013
Gaming Week! - Castle Story
Hey there guys! So, that was fun yesterday, huh? If you read the entry right after I posted it, you may have missed the update. So, in a nutshell, Ouya has changed the rules of their Free the Games fund for the better. Much better. And as a result, Gridiron Thunder is no longer eligible for it.
But, we aren't talking about that today. Today, we're talking about Castle Story! What's Castle Story, you ask? This is:
Castle Story is a game in development by the kind folks over at Sauropod Studio. It's the strategy meets building. You control all your little yellow guys, called Bricktrons, and you use them to cut down trees, mine into the ground, and build castles to help defend not just your people, but the crystal that brings your people to life.
Oh, and the islands are floating high in the sky above an endless ocean. So don't dig too deep or too greedily.
I've personally been a part of the game in some capacity since early on. As the Kickstarter was running, I became a moderator on the community forums. While not directly associated with Sauropod in any way, much of the community spends their time on the forums at www.CastleStoryOnline.com. The Sauropod guys don't manage that page, it's entirely community run.
They ran into a pretty major issue during the Kickstarter campaign. They realized that the estimated delivery dates listed in the pledges were just plain untenable. There was no way they'd be able to deliver by those deadlines. This became especially true as the project scope began to change when they blasted past their funding goal of $80,000, climbing all the way up past $700,000. They made it a point, at that time, to tell everyone that the estimated delivery dates simply would not be met, and that Kickstarter wouldn't let them change those ETA's after launching the campaign. They recommended that anyone who wasn't alright with that withdraw their pledge. Few people did, if any at all.
The game had gotten much more attention than anybody at Sauropod, or even in the wider community had ever expected. Suddenly, what had started as a little demo reel for Germain and Francois had turned into a game that was getting a lot more press than anticipated. And that's not always good news. Suddenly, they had a lot more critical eyes on their Bricktrons than they'd expected, and that's enough to make any artist sweat bullets. They started a weekly development blog to help get any information about the game out there.
However, shortly after the Kickstarter Ended, the weekly development blog became... Well, less weekly. And the community quickly started to lose patience, becoming divided over people who wanted the news, and people who didn't care about the news and just wanted a game.
Enter Thierry, the web man. He took over the blog, quickly stepping forward to make it a weekly occurrence again. At this point, I had started speaking with him pretty regularly. When the blog fell to him, he asked me if I could help him with it. The problem was that Thierry, while very intelligent, is not a native English speaker. He's French Canadian, and his native tongue is French. He can speak well enough in English to convey an idea, and have a conversation. But when it came to a professional blog that is the singular news source for the community, it simply wouldn't do. So, he needed an editor, someone to read through the blog and clean up the English. That's where I come in.
In the early days, he'd write the entire entry in a pastebin, then send me a link. I'd copy the entire thing into notepad, edit it all, and then make a new pastebin with the completed blog, sending it back. This didn't last long, as it was complex and couldn't be viewed and corrected easily in real time. After about a month and a half, we realized we needed a better system. So, we switched to google docs. From that time forward, he'd write it all in a google doc, then just share it with me. I'd go in, make all the changes, and then just tell him it was done. This is still how we do it today. I also eventually took over the Soundtrack of the Week, another element of the blog, as the team ran dry on new music.
Once the rest of the team had the concerns of the blog removed, development accelerated. Now, these guys are still new to the industry and game development in general, so it wasn't quite as fast as what you'd expect from a team of veterans, but progress was happening regardless. The prototype of the game was released in October of 2012, and over the next few months saw a couple updates to help fix some of the more broken parts of it. It was pretty bare bone, but it had most of the building and resource management in.
After the second prototype patch, they decided that their efforts would be better spent progressing towards beta than continuing to support the prototype. It was, after all, only ever intended to give a small glance at what the game would be. Continuing to patch it and make sure it would work on all supported platforms at each released build would have taken a lot of resources away from the overall development. So, they dropped support of the Prototype and went full steam ahead.
Eventually, they did release one final patch for the prototype at community request, adding in a couple more mechanics and features, such as the new user interface. And now, they're only days away from the big one, the game's release on Steam Early Access. I'm certain the guys are all sweating bullets at this point, knowing that for the first time, anybody will be able to just pick up the game and play it. I do not envy them the stress of the next few days.
I've loved working with Thierry on this stuff every week, and watching the game slowly evolve. I've never been paid for any of it, and that's OK. I've wanted to work in this industry since I was a child with no concept of money, and this volunteer work has let me fulfill that dream at least in part. I've routinely been told by my parents, by my ex-girlfriend, by many people that I should stop and tell them to pay me or do it themselves, and I've refused to do that every time. I'd happily do it for another year if needed. The window it's given me into the process has been invaluable.
So, if any of them are reading this, thank you for letting me be a part of this project. I've enjoyed every moment of it. And good luck on Monday, I'm sure it'll be a hit. I've seen the latest builds, and it's shaping up great.
But, we aren't talking about that today. Today, we're talking about Castle Story! What's Castle Story, you ask? This is:
Castle Story is a game in development by the kind folks over at Sauropod Studio. It's the strategy meets building. You control all your little yellow guys, called Bricktrons, and you use them to cut down trees, mine into the ground, and build castles to help defend not just your people, but the crystal that brings your people to life.
Oh, and the islands are floating high in the sky above an endless ocean. So don't dig too deep or too greedily.
I've personally been a part of the game in some capacity since early on. As the Kickstarter was running, I became a moderator on the community forums. While not directly associated with Sauropod in any way, much of the community spends their time on the forums at www.CastleStoryOnline.com. The Sauropod guys don't manage that page, it's entirely community run.
They ran into a pretty major issue during the Kickstarter campaign. They realized that the estimated delivery dates listed in the pledges were just plain untenable. There was no way they'd be able to deliver by those deadlines. This became especially true as the project scope began to change when they blasted past their funding goal of $80,000, climbing all the way up past $700,000. They made it a point, at that time, to tell everyone that the estimated delivery dates simply would not be met, and that Kickstarter wouldn't let them change those ETA's after launching the campaign. They recommended that anyone who wasn't alright with that withdraw their pledge. Few people did, if any at all.
The game had gotten much more attention than anybody at Sauropod, or even in the wider community had ever expected. Suddenly, what had started as a little demo reel for Germain and Francois had turned into a game that was getting a lot more press than anticipated. And that's not always good news. Suddenly, they had a lot more critical eyes on their Bricktrons than they'd expected, and that's enough to make any artist sweat bullets. They started a weekly development blog to help get any information about the game out there.
However, shortly after the Kickstarter Ended, the weekly development blog became... Well, less weekly. And the community quickly started to lose patience, becoming divided over people who wanted the news, and people who didn't care about the news and just wanted a game.
Enter Thierry, the web man. He took over the blog, quickly stepping forward to make it a weekly occurrence again. At this point, I had started speaking with him pretty regularly. When the blog fell to him, he asked me if I could help him with it. The problem was that Thierry, while very intelligent, is not a native English speaker. He's French Canadian, and his native tongue is French. He can speak well enough in English to convey an idea, and have a conversation. But when it came to a professional blog that is the singular news source for the community, it simply wouldn't do. So, he needed an editor, someone to read through the blog and clean up the English. That's where I come in.
In the early days, he'd write the entire entry in a pastebin, then send me a link. I'd copy the entire thing into notepad, edit it all, and then make a new pastebin with the completed blog, sending it back. This didn't last long, as it was complex and couldn't be viewed and corrected easily in real time. After about a month and a half, we realized we needed a better system. So, we switched to google docs. From that time forward, he'd write it all in a google doc, then just share it with me. I'd go in, make all the changes, and then just tell him it was done. This is still how we do it today. I also eventually took over the Soundtrack of the Week, another element of the blog, as the team ran dry on new music.
Once the rest of the team had the concerns of the blog removed, development accelerated. Now, these guys are still new to the industry and game development in general, so it wasn't quite as fast as what you'd expect from a team of veterans, but progress was happening regardless. The prototype of the game was released in October of 2012, and over the next few months saw a couple updates to help fix some of the more broken parts of it. It was pretty bare bone, but it had most of the building and resource management in.
After the second prototype patch, they decided that their efforts would be better spent progressing towards beta than continuing to support the prototype. It was, after all, only ever intended to give a small glance at what the game would be. Continuing to patch it and make sure it would work on all supported platforms at each released build would have taken a lot of resources away from the overall development. So, they dropped support of the Prototype and went full steam ahead.
Eventually, they did release one final patch for the prototype at community request, adding in a couple more mechanics and features, such as the new user interface. And now, they're only days away from the big one, the game's release on Steam Early Access. I'm certain the guys are all sweating bullets at this point, knowing that for the first time, anybody will be able to just pick up the game and play it. I do not envy them the stress of the next few days.
I've loved working with Thierry on this stuff every week, and watching the game slowly evolve. I've never been paid for any of it, and that's OK. I've wanted to work in this industry since I was a child with no concept of money, and this volunteer work has let me fulfill that dream at least in part. I've routinely been told by my parents, by my ex-girlfriend, by many people that I should stop and tell them to pay me or do it themselves, and I've refused to do that every time. I'd happily do it for another year if needed. The window it's given me into the process has been invaluable.
So, if any of them are reading this, thank you for letting me be a part of this project. I've enjoyed every moment of it. And good luck on Monday, I'm sure it'll be a hit. I've seen the latest builds, and it's shaping up great.
September 19, 2013
Gaming Week! - Kickstarted Rage Part 2
So, yesterday we went over the perils many developers face when they start up their game with Kickstarter. I'd say it's worth it at the end of the day though, personally. Today, we're going to talk about when the rage directed at these developers is warranted. And, we'll have a few excellent examples as well!
Now, to reiterate, I'm not condoning going online and spewing venom at people. I don't think it's ever OK to start insulting someone personally, or threatening them with violence, or any of that. There is nothing that makes that alright. Ever.
What I am condoning is holding them accountable, insisting on a return of your money, and pointing out the major flaws in what they're doing. And I'm condoning that when they aren't fulfilling their obligations. Note that delivering a finished product right on time isn't considered one of those obligations. Here is what it says in Kickstarters' FAQ.
So, many developers on Kickstarter do run into delays. That's sort of normal. Almost anyone who's ever done software development can tell you that delays happen, and in any dev's early days, they were the worst judge possible about how long something will take.
However, sometimes it's more than just delays. Enter 'Code Hero', a game that was pitched on Kickstarter quite a while back. It was pitched to be an educational tool, a game revolving around coding that could teach kids rudimentary programming skills while keeping them engaged with a game. The developer asked for $100,000 and got $170,954.
Over a year and a half later, there is still no game, and the developer cut off pretty much all communication with the community. He admitted to burning through all the funds, including that which should have been reserved for physical items that were pledged for. All the dev has done so far is admit to being out of money, and released a mostly broken beta. He's no longer operating in good faith, as he won't communicate with the community. There's even been talk of a class action lawsuit against him, though it wouldn't do any good since he doesn't have any money left anyway.
Then there are instances that are straight up scams. I can't recall the name of the last one I'd heard of right off the bat, but they had put together a very good pitch. Then, an eagle-eyed surfer noticed that some of the concept art they had up seemed very familiar. Upon a bit more inspection, it turned out the, and I use the term loosely here, developer had lifted the entirety of the art assets from someone else's project. Needless to say, much hell was raised, and the project got shut down by Kickstarter.
Then there are projects that smell distinctly of scam. Take Gridiron Thunder. Now, before the owner of that project decides to threaten me with a lawsuit, they aren't doing anything illegal or against the rules. I'd count on them not doing so, the lead dev has been a lawyer in Silicon Valley for over twenty years. If anyone knows how to get through the legal system, it's him. But, what they're doing is highly unethical.
They started up their project to develop a football game for the Ouya game system, and to make use of the Ouya 'Free the Games' fund. This fund will match any money raised in a kickstarter for a game in return for 6 months of exclusivity on the platform, so long as the game raises $50,000, and will match up to $250,000. Now, I'm not going to go into how bad of an idea that is to begin with. Suffice to say, it's a stupid idea.
Now, Gridiron Thunder raised $171,009 by the end of it's campaign. From only 183 backers. That means, on average, each backer gave $934.48. Each. This is the highest average for a game project ever. By a massive margin. Of those 183 backers, 23 claimed no pledge levels, so they just threw money at it with no return what so ever. That's also exceedingly fishy. I can't recall having ever seen that happen before.
Even fishier is how many donations came from accounts that had just been registered, and had never donated to a project before that. And how many of those new accounts had the same name. And how many of those accounts shared their surname with the founder of the company. Now, if he wants to funnel money into his own project to make sure it succeeds, that's fine by me. I have absolutely no problem with that.
Where my problem lies is that this is specifically set up with Free the Games. Which means if he invested say, $50,000 into his project, that means Ouya will now double that. He's using this fund not only to double what his fans will put into the game, but his own preexisting capital as well. And that is incredibly dishonest and unethical in my book.
It would be one thing if the game looked good, but it doesn't. I've seen their demos. The game appears to be absolute, complete, unadulterated crap. They have made exactly 2 models, one of the players, one of the football, a few skins, and used a Kinect to motion cap all the animation. The game is terrible, slipshod, and it will not sell. There is a reason that it had so few backers. This game was clearly assembled in less than a month, and he's going to get not just the $171,009 that the Kickstarter raised, but that amount again from Free the Games, bringing him and his exceedingly small team's haul for a month or so worth of work up to a whopping $342,018. For what is truly a horrible game.
And, to make it worse, Free the Games, a fund that could genuinely do some good for the platform if they lower the bottom limit a bit, is a capped fund. They will only spend one million dollars running this promotion. This awful game, developed by a horribly immoral company, is going to use up almost a fifth of that fund.
And Andrew Won, the founder of the studio, has nothing more to say about it than that he didn't realize that the numbers were unusual, and that he's done nothing illegal. To you Andrew, I say this. You may have done nothing illegal, but you and your company have done something incredibly immoral. I am ashamed of you, and I am ashamed to say that someone like you exists in an industry that I have grown up treasuring. I genuinely hope you one day realize how wrong you have been here, and endeavor to live your life in a less parasitic way. Your actions may have kept another indie developer from being able to realize their dream. You may have stolen away another man's bread, another man's livelihood. And you should be ashamed of yourself.
Hmm, I guess I went against what I said when I started this entry. That was a pretty broad personal attack. Alright, I'll amend that. There is a very, very small number of situations where something like that is called for. But do notice that I never started cursing, I never threatened, and I never got irrational.
Tomorrow, if I can find the time, we'll talk about a project I've been voluntarily involved in for the last year. Another project that got its life from Kickstarter. We'll be talking about Castle Story, from Sauropod Studio, along with all the ups and downs they've experienced over the last year since their Kickstarter, leading up to the early release of their game on Steam this coming Monday. See you all then!
EDIT: Just as soon as I finished this, I looked up some news. It turns out that it's good news. Ouya has, very wisely, changed the rules of Free the Games. The minimum required has been lowered from $50,000 to $10,000, first off. Also, they require games to have 100 backers per $10,000 raised, to keep people from gaming the system like Gridiron Thunder did. And, even better, they lowered the required exclusivity period from the previous ridiculous 6 months to a single month, and it excludes PC. So, devs can release on PC and Ouya at the same time, just not on other consoles until a month has passed.
And, even better, these new rules count Gridiron Thunder out. They will no longer be getting a single dime from the Free the Games fund. This makes me very happy.
Major props to you, Ouya, this was the proper move. I'm proud of you. I am, for the first time, considering trying to get my hands on one of your consoles.
Now, to reiterate, I'm not condoning going online and spewing venom at people. I don't think it's ever OK to start insulting someone personally, or threatening them with violence, or any of that. There is nothing that makes that alright. Ever.
What I am condoning is holding them accountable, insisting on a return of your money, and pointing out the major flaws in what they're doing. And I'm condoning that when they aren't fulfilling their obligations. Note that delivering a finished product right on time isn't considered one of those obligations. Here is what it says in Kickstarters' FAQ.
What should creators do if they're having problems completing their project?
If problems come up, creators are expected to post a project update (which is emailed to all backers) explaining the situation. Sharing the story, speed bumps and all, is crucial. Most backers support projects because they want to see something happen and they'd like to be a part of it. Creators who are honest and transparent will usually find backers to be understanding.
It's not uncommon for things to take longer than expected. Sometimes the execution of the project proves more difficult than the creator had anticipated. If a creator is making a good faith effort to complete their project and is transparent about it, backers should do their best to be patient and understanding while demanding continued accountability from the creator.
If the problems are severe enough that the creator can't fulfill their project, creators need to find a resolution. Steps could include offering refunds, detailing exactly how funds were used, and other actions to satisfy backers.
So, many developers on Kickstarter do run into delays. That's sort of normal. Almost anyone who's ever done software development can tell you that delays happen, and in any dev's early days, they were the worst judge possible about how long something will take.However, sometimes it's more than just delays. Enter 'Code Hero', a game that was pitched on Kickstarter quite a while back. It was pitched to be an educational tool, a game revolving around coding that could teach kids rudimentary programming skills while keeping them engaged with a game. The developer asked for $100,000 and got $170,954.
Over a year and a half later, there is still no game, and the developer cut off pretty much all communication with the community. He admitted to burning through all the funds, including that which should have been reserved for physical items that were pledged for. All the dev has done so far is admit to being out of money, and released a mostly broken beta. He's no longer operating in good faith, as he won't communicate with the community. There's even been talk of a class action lawsuit against him, though it wouldn't do any good since he doesn't have any money left anyway.
Then there are instances that are straight up scams. I can't recall the name of the last one I'd heard of right off the bat, but they had put together a very good pitch. Then, an eagle-eyed surfer noticed that some of the concept art they had up seemed very familiar. Upon a bit more inspection, it turned out the, and I use the term loosely here, developer had lifted the entirety of the art assets from someone else's project. Needless to say, much hell was raised, and the project got shut down by Kickstarter.
Then there are projects that smell distinctly of scam. Take Gridiron Thunder. Now, before the owner of that project decides to threaten me with a lawsuit, they aren't doing anything illegal or against the rules. I'd count on them not doing so, the lead dev has been a lawyer in Silicon Valley for over twenty years. If anyone knows how to get through the legal system, it's him. But, what they're doing is highly unethical.
They started up their project to develop a football game for the Ouya game system, and to make use of the Ouya 'Free the Games' fund. This fund will match any money raised in a kickstarter for a game in return for 6 months of exclusivity on the platform, so long as the game raises $50,000, and will match up to $250,000. Now, I'm not going to go into how bad of an idea that is to begin with. Suffice to say, it's a stupid idea.
Now, Gridiron Thunder raised $171,009 by the end of it's campaign. From only 183 backers. That means, on average, each backer gave $934.48. Each. This is the highest average for a game project ever. By a massive margin. Of those 183 backers, 23 claimed no pledge levels, so they just threw money at it with no return what so ever. That's also exceedingly fishy. I can't recall having ever seen that happen before.
Even fishier is how many donations came from accounts that had just been registered, and had never donated to a project before that. And how many of those new accounts had the same name. And how many of those accounts shared their surname with the founder of the company. Now, if he wants to funnel money into his own project to make sure it succeeds, that's fine by me. I have absolutely no problem with that.
Where my problem lies is that this is specifically set up with Free the Games. Which means if he invested say, $50,000 into his project, that means Ouya will now double that. He's using this fund not only to double what his fans will put into the game, but his own preexisting capital as well. And that is incredibly dishonest and unethical in my book.
It would be one thing if the game looked good, but it doesn't. I've seen their demos. The game appears to be absolute, complete, unadulterated crap. They have made exactly 2 models, one of the players, one of the football, a few skins, and used a Kinect to motion cap all the animation. The game is terrible, slipshod, and it will not sell. There is a reason that it had so few backers. This game was clearly assembled in less than a month, and he's going to get not just the $171,009 that the Kickstarter raised, but that amount again from Free the Games, bringing him and his exceedingly small team's haul for a month or so worth of work up to a whopping $342,018. For what is truly a horrible game.
And, to make it worse, Free the Games, a fund that could genuinely do some good for the platform if they lower the bottom limit a bit, is a capped fund. They will only spend one million dollars running this promotion. This awful game, developed by a horribly immoral company, is going to use up almost a fifth of that fund.
And Andrew Won, the founder of the studio, has nothing more to say about it than that he didn't realize that the numbers were unusual, and that he's done nothing illegal. To you Andrew, I say this. You may have done nothing illegal, but you and your company have done something incredibly immoral. I am ashamed of you, and I am ashamed to say that someone like you exists in an industry that I have grown up treasuring. I genuinely hope you one day realize how wrong you have been here, and endeavor to live your life in a less parasitic way. Your actions may have kept another indie developer from being able to realize their dream. You may have stolen away another man's bread, another man's livelihood. And you should be ashamed of yourself.
Hmm, I guess I went against what I said when I started this entry. That was a pretty broad personal attack. Alright, I'll amend that. There is a very, very small number of situations where something like that is called for. But do notice that I never started cursing, I never threatened, and I never got irrational.
Tomorrow, if I can find the time, we'll talk about a project I've been voluntarily involved in for the last year. Another project that got its life from Kickstarter. We'll be talking about Castle Story, from Sauropod Studio, along with all the ups and downs they've experienced over the last year since their Kickstarter, leading up to the early release of their game on Steam this coming Monday. See you all then!
EDIT: Just as soon as I finished this, I looked up some news. It turns out that it's good news. Ouya has, very wisely, changed the rules of Free the Games. The minimum required has been lowered from $50,000 to $10,000, first off. Also, they require games to have 100 backers per $10,000 raised, to keep people from gaming the system like Gridiron Thunder did. And, even better, they lowered the required exclusivity period from the previous ridiculous 6 months to a single month, and it excludes PC. So, devs can release on PC and Ouya at the same time, just not on other consoles until a month has passed.
And, even better, these new rules count Gridiron Thunder out. They will no longer be getting a single dime from the Free the Games fund. This makes me very happy.
Major props to you, Ouya, this was the proper move. I'm proud of you. I am, for the first time, considering trying to get my hands on one of your consoles.
September 18, 2013
Gaming Week! - Kickstarted Rage
So, on Monday, we talked about indie games, their innovation, and the new opportunities that exist for indie devs to actually get the money needed to bring their dreams to life. Today, we'll be talking about the pit-fall that some of these methods come with. Most notably Kickstarter.
Bit of a disclaimer. I'm talking specifically about Kickstarter because I'm rather unfamiliar with the others, such as Rocket Hub and Indiegogo. I also don't know if this happens with Desura's alpha funding service or Steam's early access service, as I'm just not as involved in those communities. Kickstarter has been where I've been the most involved, both in backing games and in involving myself with their communities.
Now, Kickstarter is great. It's a wonderful way to get attention for your project, and to get the funds needed to bring it to life. Where the problem comes in is that, typically, any project on Kickstarter is still in it's infancy. These aren't projects that have a lot of time already invested in them. Rarely a year, sometimes not even a month. Sometimes barely even weeks. Most projects have a very basic video that's really more a mock up than anything playable, and sometimes they don't even have that. Take, for example, Double Fine's adventure game kickstarter. The first video on their first campaign was literally just asking for money to make an adventure game. No name for it, no game play, no mock ups, just money to make a game.
Typically, when a new game is announced on Steam, or in a magazine, or on a website, this game is already pretty far along it's development. Major game studios do not announce games until they are almost completely certain that the game will come out. More games than people realize get worked on for years and still get canned. Studios and publishers won't announce games until they are almost done for this reason.
They don't want to spend money on marketing for a title they aren't sure will generate a return. They don't want to spend time speaking with the gaming press over a title they are not positive will actually see release. And they don't want to lose faith and piss off segments of their customer base by talking up a title only to cancel it later. So, with major game releases, you typically see a project that's almost done, and they show you as little as possible. Then, they slowly feed out more info as they squash all the bugs leading up to release. The result is that it seems like they started with a barely there game, and developed everything else really, really, really fast leading up to launch, and that's just not the case.
This isn't what happens on Kickstarter. What you typically see there is a game that really is barely there. Very often, it's just the developer talking, along side some mock ups, concept art, and some gameplay video that's held together by duct tape, and very carefully edited to avoid showing any major issues.
So, people get it in their minds that they'll be seeing swift development, and a finished, or at least very advanced beta in short order. Nine times out of ten, this doesn't happen, and the community just doesn't know how to react.
Now, most of the people in these communities understand that delays happen, and are wonderful supportive people. Maybe not pleased, maybe even asking for refunds, but they are typically still very reasonable. I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about an incredibly vocal minority.
Rather than supporting the game, or getting fed up and just leaving, or asking for a refund, they camp out Reddit, the game blog's comment section, any community forums. Every time the developers say anything, these individuals are there, pitch forks in hand. They aren't pleased with anything short of a completed game, and a developer blog that has every single detail of what every team member has done every day since the last blog entry. They don't seem to realize how ridiculous that is.
Seriously guys, they can't do that. Obviously, the game isn't done, otherwise you'd already know. And they can't give you a bullet list of every single thing that's been done. Fact is, developers will try about a dozen different things before happening upon something that works both mechanically and aesthetically. If they detailed everything they did, the blog entry would be two things. Stupidly long and a really bad looking. It would have "Failed, failed, failed, failed, failed, kinda worked, failed, failed, worked but looks crap, failed, worked properly".
And that's for experienced developers. The vast majority of developers on Kickstarter are not experienced devs. Many have never worked on a full scale publicly known project, and even more have never shipped a game. And, you're seeing the game from it's infancy, not well into development. They won't deliver the game next month. It just won't happen. And if they do, you probably don't want the game. Gridiron Thunder is a prime example of that. They won't give you every single detail of what they do, no developer will, ever. They won't respond to your every question, especially if you're always asking the same questions in an insulting way every week.
And, on that topic, insulting these fine gentlemen who are trying to bring their dream to life every chance you get won't make them work faster. It won't make them give you more info either. I've known of several developers who have completely cut off all community interaction because of how toxic a small portion of that community became.
If you've got questions, ask them. If you've got concerns, raise them. But do so politely. Do so respectfully. Don't hurl venom and hate at these guys, because then they won't listen to you.
If you cut someone off while driving, and they pull up beside you, roll down their window, and start yelling, and screaming, and cursing, are you going to care that you pissed them off? I know I wouldn't. They're dicks. But, if you cut someone off, and they pull up, roll down their window, and say that you cut them off, that they realize you probably didn't see them, and they ask you to please just pay a bit more attention going forward, chances are you would. Chances are you'd apologize, unless you're actually the dick.
If you're concerned and want to make the game progress better, and want the game to be more fun when it's done, realize that you can help. You can bring up your concerns, and be heard. But nobody will listen if you sound like you're full of hate and anger. If you sound like you can't be pleased, nobody will try to please you.
Now, all that being said, there are most certainly times when that ire and anger is deserved. Times where developers of Kickstarter projects should be held accountable, and deserve every bit of anger they get.
And we'll talk about a few of those in the next entry! See you then!
Seriously guys, they can't do that. Obviously, the game isn't done, otherwise you'd already know. And they can't give you a bullet list of every single thing that's been done. Fact is, developers will try about a dozen different things before happening upon something that works both mechanically and aesthetically. If they detailed everything they did, the blog entry would be two things. Stupidly long and a really bad looking. It would have "Failed, failed, failed, failed, failed, kinda worked, failed, failed, worked but looks crap, failed, worked properly".
And that's for experienced developers. The vast majority of developers on Kickstarter are not experienced devs. Many have never worked on a full scale publicly known project, and even more have never shipped a game. And, you're seeing the game from it's infancy, not well into development. They won't deliver the game next month. It just won't happen. And if they do, you probably don't want the game. Gridiron Thunder is a prime example of that. They won't give you every single detail of what they do, no developer will, ever. They won't respond to your every question, especially if you're always asking the same questions in an insulting way every week.
And, on that topic, insulting these fine gentlemen who are trying to bring their dream to life every chance you get won't make them work faster. It won't make them give you more info either. I've known of several developers who have completely cut off all community interaction because of how toxic a small portion of that community became.
If you've got questions, ask them. If you've got concerns, raise them. But do so politely. Do so respectfully. Don't hurl venom and hate at these guys, because then they won't listen to you.
If you cut someone off while driving, and they pull up beside you, roll down their window, and start yelling, and screaming, and cursing, are you going to care that you pissed them off? I know I wouldn't. They're dicks. But, if you cut someone off, and they pull up, roll down their window, and say that you cut them off, that they realize you probably didn't see them, and they ask you to please just pay a bit more attention going forward, chances are you would. Chances are you'd apologize, unless you're actually the dick.
If you're concerned and want to make the game progress better, and want the game to be more fun when it's done, realize that you can help. You can bring up your concerns, and be heard. But nobody will listen if you sound like you're full of hate and anger. If you sound like you can't be pleased, nobody will try to please you.
Now, all that being said, there are most certainly times when that ire and anger is deserved. Times where developers of Kickstarter projects should be held accountable, and deserve every bit of anger they get.
And we'll talk about a few of those in the next entry! See you then!
September 16, 2013
Gaming Week! - Indie Titles
Hey guys! We're gonna go a bit gaming heavy this week. I'm going to have a second Tail's Tale in here at some point, but for now, games!
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a massive gamer. I've been playing since I was old enough to hold a controller. I started on the NES, and eventually became one of the PC Gaming master race. The entire reason I got into computers to begin with was so I could play Unreal Tournament, and it's been a steady progression since then.
While I certainly enjoy some of the bigger titles, such as Call of Duty, Command and Conquer, and Team Fortress, I've always had a special love for indie titles. I've always felt that because of how small the teams that make them are, they are always more willing to risk failure for the sake of innovation.
Now, I don't mean innovation for the sake of innovation. We've seen enough of that with Nintendo's special control schemes and forced Kinect support. Innovating for the sake of being able to say, "We innovated!" is disingenuous. That's coming up with an idea and looking for some way to force the game to use it.
The innovation I'm talking about is more organic than that. It's having a game play element, and coming up with an interesting and original way of implementing it. One of the best, most recent examples I can think of is in Godus, from 22 Cans, Peter Molyneux's development studio.
Godus is a game in the vein of Populus and Black and White. It places you in the role of a God, watching over the land and it's people, yet giving you no direct control over those people. And that's all fine and dandy, and not really what we're talking about. What we are talking about is the landscape.
The game gives you the ability to terraform the world, raising, lowering and dragging around terrain however you see fit. The result is a massive, and very dynamic world for you to populate with your worshipers. Now, most games with a dynamic world like this do it in one of two ways. Either with 'voxels', or volumetric pixels, such as Minecraft, or with a transformable mesh.
Both methods have their pros and cons. With Voxels, you get a very modifiable world, but it's very blocky, lacking a lot of the polish we are accustomed to in this age of gaming. With the mesh, you get a much smoother landscape, but often run into issues with things like structures or caves, since what you're dealing with is essentially a piece of paper.
Godus chose to do something a bit different, that I can't recall having seen before. The world is made up of layers. I would guess that each layer is about a meter thick. You can remove layers, add layers, or drag around the boundaries, transforming the world however you desire. It's something completely new, and I love it.
This is the type of things we see from indie games. From the floating islands and RTS game play of Castle Story, to the triple pane rhythm game styling of Sequence, indie studios simply push further to make their game play interesting.
And, with the advance of services such as Kickstarter and Steam's Early Access, opportunities for these small studios to deliver excellence are only growing in number. I can think of a half dozen different methods right off the top of my head, and I'm certain that there are more beyond that. And that's just on PC.
Of course, using something like Kickstarter to launch your game comes with it's own set of issues. And we'll talk about that tomorrow! See you then!
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a massive gamer. I've been playing since I was old enough to hold a controller. I started on the NES, and eventually became one of the PC Gaming master race. The entire reason I got into computers to begin with was so I could play Unreal Tournament, and it's been a steady progression since then.
While I certainly enjoy some of the bigger titles, such as Call of Duty, Command and Conquer, and Team Fortress, I've always had a special love for indie titles. I've always felt that because of how small the teams that make them are, they are always more willing to risk failure for the sake of innovation.
Now, I don't mean innovation for the sake of innovation. We've seen enough of that with Nintendo's special control schemes and forced Kinect support. Innovating for the sake of being able to say, "We innovated!" is disingenuous. That's coming up with an idea and looking for some way to force the game to use it.
The innovation I'm talking about is more organic than that. It's having a game play element, and coming up with an interesting and original way of implementing it. One of the best, most recent examples I can think of is in Godus, from 22 Cans, Peter Molyneux's development studio.
Godus is a game in the vein of Populus and Black and White. It places you in the role of a God, watching over the land and it's people, yet giving you no direct control over those people. And that's all fine and dandy, and not really what we're talking about. What we are talking about is the landscape.
The game gives you the ability to terraform the world, raising, lowering and dragging around terrain however you see fit. The result is a massive, and very dynamic world for you to populate with your worshipers. Now, most games with a dynamic world like this do it in one of two ways. Either with 'voxels', or volumetric pixels, such as Minecraft, or with a transformable mesh.
Both methods have their pros and cons. With Voxels, you get a very modifiable world, but it's very blocky, lacking a lot of the polish we are accustomed to in this age of gaming. With the mesh, you get a much smoother landscape, but often run into issues with things like structures or caves, since what you're dealing with is essentially a piece of paper.
Godus chose to do something a bit different, that I can't recall having seen before. The world is made up of layers. I would guess that each layer is about a meter thick. You can remove layers, add layers, or drag around the boundaries, transforming the world however you desire. It's something completely new, and I love it.
This is the type of things we see from indie games. From the floating islands and RTS game play of Castle Story, to the triple pane rhythm game styling of Sequence, indie studios simply push further to make their game play interesting.
And, with the advance of services such as Kickstarter and Steam's Early Access, opportunities for these small studios to deliver excellence are only growing in number. I can think of a half dozen different methods right off the top of my head, and I'm certain that there are more beyond that. And that's just on PC.
Of course, using something like Kickstarter to launch your game comes with it's own set of issues. And we'll talk about that tomorrow! See you then!
September 13, 2013
Waking Up
I do not wake up easily. Oh, sure, I move. I do things like walking around to my variety of alarms and hitting snooze, but I am rarely actually awake at that point.
I've been told about full conversations I've had just after stirring that I've got no recollection of. And typically, those conversations are just pure ridiculousness.
"Hey, do the dogs need to go out?"
"Hmm? Oh, no, no, didn't you hear? Dogs have thumbs now."
"What?"
"There was an infomercial for dog thumbs last night, so I bought all the dog's thumbs. They can let themselves out now."
"When did this happen?"
"Right after tea with Bob."
"Who's Bob?"
"My carpenter. He carpents things."
In order for this to all make sense, I need to put in perspective just how deeply I sleep. A few years back, when my girlfriend at the time was living with me, I came home from work one night, and she was apologizing profusely, saying that she was so sorry about the previous night.
I was very confused. I couldn't think of anything that she'd done that would call for an apology. So, I asked her what she meant.
Apparently, she had accidentally punched me square in the face in her sleep, hard enough to wake her up. And she was a deep sleeper too. So, she'd apparently really laid into me by accident.
"Oh God Kyle, I'm so sorry!"
"Um, k? What for, exactly?"
"I punched you in the nose last night!"
"You did? I don't remember this. How did you not break your hand when you did it?"
I just quirked a brow, and told her she must have dreamed it. But no, she was certain. So, being punched, in the face, hard, had no effect on my sleep what so ever. I'd say I sleep like the dead, but if I remember Army of Darkness right, it's a lot easier to wake the dead.
In the morning, I am like a cornered rabbit, and my alarms are angry, ravenous wolves.
Now, I actually use three separate alarms to wake me up in the morning, that go off within moments of one another. The whole idea is to make sure I actually wake up.
Just the other morning, something interesting happened. The first alarm went off, and I got up and turned it off. I quickly flopped back into my bed, facing towards the other alarms, and dozed back off. apparently, I rolled onto my other side after I dozed off. A couple minutes later, I second alarm, the loud one, starts going off. I lifted onto my knees, and went for the dive to turn it off.
But, I didn't realize I turned around. At least, not until the wall beside my bed made it's presence very well known.
I was very awake after that. The third alarm was not needed that day.
In the morning, I am like a cornered rabbit, and my alarms are angry, ravenous wolves.
"Zzzz... Zzzz... Zzzz..."
"BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ MOTHER FUCKER!"
"OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!"
"RING RING!"
Now, I actually use three separate alarms to wake me up in the morning, that go off within moments of one another. The whole idea is to make sure I actually wake up.
Just the other morning, something interesting happened. The first alarm went off, and I got up and turned it off. I quickly flopped back into my bed, facing towards the other alarms, and dozed back off. apparently, I rolled onto my other side after I dozed off. A couple minutes later, I second alarm, the loud one, starts going off. I lifted onto my knees, and went for the dive to turn it off.
But, I didn't realize I turned around. At least, not until the wall beside my bed made it's presence very well known.
I was very awake after that. The third alarm was not needed that day.
September 12, 2013
A Tale of Tails
Shortly after I was born, my parents decided we should have a dog. Now, I would imagine I was rather keen on the idea, but nobody can really tell me. Which makes sense, I couldn't talk.
So, they opted to get a puppy. A little Yellow Labrador Retriever. We named him Mike. Mike L. Angelo. A very punny name, and one I'd like to think I had some part in. In spite of the whole talking thing, of course.
Now, of course, I remember very, very, very little of the early days when Mike was still a puppy. Most of what I know was told to me, or relayed in pictures. I do remember seeing a family video once in which Mike would keep biting the back of my diaper and knocking me over.
Fast forward a couple of years. I'm a bit bigger, and Mike is full grown. This was when the intelligence of the yellow lab began to emerge.
Back in those days, I'd often take my supper into my room to eat. Mike, who always stayed right at my side otherwise, wouldn't ever follow me in when it was supper time. Instead, he would bide his time, waiting until he saw me get up to go and get a drink.
Whenever I'd abandon my food, he would strike like a ninja. He'd head straight into the room, swiftly devour everything on my plate, and then leave again. I'd then return, drink in hand, to find an empty plate, clean as it was before food had been heaped upon it.
And, of course, Mike would be laid down in the living room, licking his chops, grinning from ear to ear. He knew I wouldn't rat him out, I didn't want to get in trouble for leaving my food down. Again. It was the perfect crime.
But, Mike's hunger could not be satiated by people food alone. Oh no. His hunger ran far too deep. Nothing was safe from his gluttony. What follows is a short list of just a few of the things he devoured over time:
Pot roast.
Tin of brownies, including the tin.
Door frame.
Box of laundry detergent.
Arm of a couch.
Lego.
Army men.
Assorted pocket change.
My homework at one point.
A broken piece of a brick.
The last bit left him with a tiny scar on the top of his muzzle. There truly was nothing he wouldn't at least try to eat. If he could get it in his mouth, he was gonna eat it. I really wish something, anything on that list was just a joke. But no. It isn't. He never even got an upset stomach, either.
Thankfully, I was not big enough to fit in his mouth, so I was safe. And, since he couldn't eat me, he decided he needed to keep an eye on me. Possibly in case I became suddenly edible. Regardless, Mike was glued to my side all the time. I recall almost every night growing up, I'd fall asleep with my head on mike's side, and his head on my stomach. We were truly inseparable.
His hunger was surmounted by one thing, however. His absolute and crippling fear of thunder. Whenever a storm rolled through, as happens often here in north Alabama, the fear would set in. He'd start shaking, and we'd start looking for the doggie downers.
The tranquilizers were absolutely necessary. Mike did not exhibit fear like most dogs. Most dogs, they just run and hide somewhere. Under a bed, under a couch, whatever. And then they stay there.
Not Mike, nope. He was, of course, a big dog. He'd run and hide, but he always tried to hide under things that weren't big enough. Chairs, tables, whatever. Then, whatever it was would tumble off to the side, and he'd realize he was no longer hidden. So, he'd find somewhere else to hide, and flip that over too. And so on. And that was with the tranquilizers.
At one point, my family and I were heading out for... Something, I guess? I don't remember. Movie, dinner, something. Doesn't really matter. But, there was a storm rolling in as we were leaving. We decided to take our chances, and before we left, we gave Mike a nice big dose of the doggie downers and leashed him to the couch to try and minimize the fallout.
When we arrived home, the couch, which was an old, incredibly heavy couch, had been dragged across the room, and had the arm chewed off. It was completely totaled. It was so far gone, that it turned out a better idea to make an insurance claim to replace it.
When I was ten, a growth appeared on Mike's foot. As soon as we noticed it, we rushed him to the vet. They said it was a benign tumor, and they promptly removed it. And that was thought to be the end of it.
Unfortunately, it wasn't. When I was eleven, the growth returned. This time, the vet said it was cancer, and that it was too late, that it had already spread. The vet told us we had two options. We could either put him to sleep, or we could take him home and wait.
Now, at this point, he could no longer keep food down. He was very ill. So, taking him home would have meant watching him slowly waste away until he finally starved to death. The vet actually recommended this course of action.
The untenable, unrepentant, vile asshole.
My family, every one of us, we're dog people. We love our dogs more than we care for most people. We could not fathom selfishly making him suffer through starvation just to give us a bit more time with him. So, we did the humane thing and said our goodbyes.
And I cried, like I've never cried since. I tear up a little now just remembering it.
He went quietly, and peacefully, his tail slowly sliding back and forth over the ground until he was gone.
He was the best dog I could have ever asked for, and I miss him to this day.
I love you Mike.
"Kyle, do you think we should get a dog?"
"Ga?"
"A dog."
"Ga?"
"Do. You. Think. We. Should. Get. A. Dog...?"
"..... Ga?"
"Sounded like a yes to me!"
So, they opted to get a puppy. A little Yellow Labrador Retriever. We named him Mike. Mike L. Angelo. A very punny name, and one I'd like to think I had some part in. In spite of the whole talking thing, of course.
"What should we call him?"
"Ga?"
"I heard Mike!"
Now, of course, I remember very, very, very little of the early days when Mike was still a puppy. Most of what I know was told to me, or relayed in pictures. I do remember seeing a family video once in which Mike would keep biting the back of my diaper and knocking me over.
Fast forward a couple of years. I'm a bit bigger, and Mike is full grown. This was when the intelligence of the yellow lab began to emerge.
Back in those days, I'd often take my supper into my room to eat. Mike, who always stayed right at my side otherwise, wouldn't ever follow me in when it was supper time. Instead, he would bide his time, waiting until he saw me get up to go and get a drink.
Whenever I'd abandon my food, he would strike like a ninja. He'd head straight into the room, swiftly devour everything on my plate, and then leave again. I'd then return, drink in hand, to find an empty plate, clean as it was before food had been heaped upon it.
"Alright, time for some... food?"
"Food? Where did you go food? I could have sworn I left it here..."
And, of course, Mike would be laid down in the living room, licking his chops, grinning from ear to ear. He knew I wouldn't rat him out, I didn't want to get in trouble for leaving my food down. Again. It was the perfect crime.
But, Mike's hunger could not be satiated by people food alone. Oh no. His hunger ran far too deep. Nothing was safe from his gluttony. What follows is a short list of just a few of the things he devoured over time:
Pot roast.
Tin of brownies, including the tin.
Door frame.
Box of laundry detergent.
Arm of a couch.
Lego.
Army men.
Assorted pocket change.
My homework at one point.
A broken piece of a brick.
The last bit left him with a tiny scar on the top of his muzzle. There truly was nothing he wouldn't at least try to eat. If he could get it in his mouth, he was gonna eat it. I really wish something, anything on that list was just a joke. But no. It isn't. He never even got an upset stomach, either.
"Oh, what's that? Is it food?"
"Mike, it's a brick. Rock. Inedible."
"Well, you say that, but I'm gonna go ahead anyway, on the off chance you're wrong and it's a cookie."
"Mike, no!"
"I REGRET MY DECISION!"
Thankfully, I was not big enough to fit in his mouth, so I was safe. And, since he couldn't eat me, he decided he needed to keep an eye on me. Possibly in case I became suddenly edible. Regardless, Mike was glued to my side all the time. I recall almost every night growing up, I'd fall asleep with my head on mike's side, and his head on my stomach. We were truly inseparable.
His hunger was surmounted by one thing, however. His absolute and crippling fear of thunder. Whenever a storm rolled through, as happens often here in north Alabama, the fear would set in. He'd start shaking, and we'd start looking for the doggie downers.
"I.. I just... I look outside, and the grass? The grass? You know the grass?"
"Yeah, Mike?"
"It's just so... Green... Like, the grass is green, and that's sort of like... life, right?"
"Mike, you're high. Just... Just lay down and sleep, ok?"
"But the grass, man..."
The tranquilizers were absolutely necessary. Mike did not exhibit fear like most dogs. Most dogs, they just run and hide somewhere. Under a bed, under a couch, whatever. And then they stay there.
Not Mike, nope. He was, of course, a big dog. He'd run and hide, but he always tried to hide under things that weren't big enough. Chairs, tables, whatever. Then, whatever it was would tumble off to the side, and he'd realize he was no longer hidden. So, he'd find somewhere else to hide, and flip that over too. And so on. And that was with the tranquilizers.
"Did... Did I hear a boom?"
"OH MY GOD! GET THE TRANQS, BEFORE HE HEARS!"
At one point, my family and I were heading out for... Something, I guess? I don't remember. Movie, dinner, something. Doesn't really matter. But, there was a storm rolling in as we were leaving. We decided to take our chances, and before we left, we gave Mike a nice big dose of the doggie downers and leashed him to the couch to try and minimize the fallout.
When we arrived home, the couch, which was an old, incredibly heavy couch, had been dragged across the room, and had the arm chewed off. It was completely totaled. It was so far gone, that it turned out a better idea to make an insurance claim to replace it.
When I was ten, a growth appeared on Mike's foot. As soon as we noticed it, we rushed him to the vet. They said it was a benign tumor, and they promptly removed it. And that was thought to be the end of it.
Unfortunately, it wasn't. When I was eleven, the growth returned. This time, the vet said it was cancer, and that it was too late, that it had already spread. The vet told us we had two options. We could either put him to sleep, or we could take him home and wait.
Now, at this point, he could no longer keep food down. He was very ill. So, taking him home would have meant watching him slowly waste away until he finally starved to death. The vet actually recommended this course of action.
The untenable, unrepentant, vile asshole.
My family, every one of us, we're dog people. We love our dogs more than we care for most people. We could not fathom selfishly making him suffer through starvation just to give us a bit more time with him. So, we did the humane thing and said our goodbyes.
And I cried, like I've never cried since. I tear up a little now just remembering it.
He went quietly, and peacefully, his tail slowly sliding back and forth over the ground until he was gone.
He was the best dog I could have ever asked for, and I miss him to this day.
I love you Mike.
September 10, 2013
Depression
Hey everyone.
I've got to level with you. I didn't just come back to blogging because I wanted to write again. I mean, that's certainly part of it. I've always loved writing, and I really have enjoyed coming back to it. But that wasn't the trigger, so to speak.
Truth is, I'm in a incredibly deep depression. And writing helps me to forget that fact.
Now, let me clarify one important detail. Depression does not mean sad. I'm not sad. I'm not happy either, though. When I say I am depressed, what I'm saying is that I don't feel emotions.
I can still feel something, though. I can feel things in the moment. I can laugh, and have a good time. I can get angry. I can feel things in the moment. But they are fleeting, as soon as that moment has passed, I go back to feeling flat. Nothing lingers. If anything, that fact makes the depression even harder to deal with. I get to have moments of feeling normal, and then it's gone. It's like a long time friend came to visit, hung around just long enough to make me remember why we were friends, and then left before we could catch up at all.
It's suffocating.
Another thing that doesn't help is that I know exactly why I'm in this depression. I know exactly when it started. Now, I've always been a logical man. I am a problem solver. The vast majority of the time, if I know the root of a problem, solving it is incredibly easy. It's very frustrating to know the root, and still have no real solution. That being said, here's the root. Or roots, as it may be.
I feel incredibly unfulfilled and stressed. I know what I'm capable of. I know what my strengths are. And, just as importantly, what my faults are. I know how much I'm capable of accomplishing. But, my current circumstances are keeping me locked in place, unable to move forward. Unable to accomplish the things I want.
Work is especially difficult. Don't get me wrong, I love doing what I do. I've been doing this for years, and I've never really regretted that choice. But, I've been working between 5 and 6 days a week for the last 5 years, save for major holidays. And I mean major. And, it was only a few months back that I managed to get every other Saturday off. Before that, it had been 6 days a week for a very, very long time.
Now, you would think, working hours like that, I'd be taking home enough to pay my bills, right? Not really. I am not the sole employee of my business, my brother works here as well. And, truth be told, we just don't do enough business to support two employees.
Added to that is the fact that, once my brother joined the company, I opted to take a pay-cut that amounted to $5,200 annually to make our pay equal. But, there's not really a solution for that. He's not in a position to find work elsewhere, and I'd really rather not leave the business that I've poured the last 5 years of my life into.
It's like digging a hole, only the dirt that I shovel out just keeps falling back into the hole. I strive as hard as I can, and it feels like nothing ever really changes. And it's frustrating. Sticking to the metaphor, I know that I can dig like a master. I know that I am one of the best diggers out there. I just can't seem to make any progress, regardless of that.
From week to week, I barely have enough money to go get groceries. I've been considering picking up my old mountain bike from my Mother's and riding it to work when I can to try and save more money. Rather than wal-mart or publix, I do 90% of my shopping at Dollar General.
Adding to all this is the house I live in. I moved there with my girlfriend at the time, who was working at the local hospital. Everything was fine and dandy initially. We were each responsible for half of the bills, and I was able to scrape that together. Then, the hospital forced her to resign because she was introverted.
I need to give a bit more detail. My girlfriend at the time had moved down here from New York. Now, up north, being introverted isn't really an issue. People up there don't really care that much if you look them in the eye when you talk to them, or if you keep to yourself mostly. They care about if you're doing your job.
But, here in the south, if you don't really speak up, or if you don't look into someone's eye when you talk to them, people take that as disrespect. They say you aren't a team player, and that you aren't fitting in. Which is exactly what happened to my girlfriend.
They told her that she could either resign, and contact HR for placement elsewhere in the hospital, or stick around until they fired her, at which point she'd be blacklisted from working for the hospital for 12 months.
That would have been a big problem. That hospital runs pretty much every hospital within 100 miles, save for one. And that one is a private hospital with an incredibly low turn-over rate, so it's very hard to get a job there. So, they effectively made her resign. Which meant no unemployment benefits to help her bridge the gap.
End result? She had to move back to New York and accept a job there. This left me with a lease on a house that costs much more than I could afford. Fortunately, I did manage to get a room mate very quickly, an old friend from high school. But, he couldn't, and still can't afford to pay more than one-third of the total bills. I don't begrudge him that, I was aware of that when I let him move in. But it still makes things difficult.
I don't have extra money. I don't spend anything extra, and squirrel away every penny I can. Then the first comes around, and it's gone. I feel like I'm going through the same cycle every month. Work, save, work, save, rent, broke.
I have a similar cycle for my days. Wake up, feed dogs, go to work, do whatever I can while at work, come home, feed dogs, watch Netflix, eat at some point, go to bed. It's a terrible rut.
And, because of the money issues, there's very little that can be done about it. Can't very well go out when I can barely afford food. I can't even get my dogs checked for worms so I can get them back on there flea and heart worm preventative. A fact that does not make me feel better about things, since I already know they've all got fleas.
I've gotten so low at times that I've had... Let's say very unhealthy thoughts. No tendencies, just very unhealthy thoughts.
However, all that being said, I've not given up hope. I've always been an incredibly optimist, and I know that eventually, things will improve. I will find a way out of this rut, and out of this financial hole I've found myself in, and the stress will abate. I know that if I hold on, I will find what I'm searching for in life.
I know how smart I am. How talented I am with my hands. I may not be all that strong, or all that handsome, but I make up for that with a level of empathy it seems few people have anymore. I know that, to my very core, I am a good person. Selfless and caring.
I know that it gets better.
I've got to level with you. I didn't just come back to blogging because I wanted to write again. I mean, that's certainly part of it. I've always loved writing, and I really have enjoyed coming back to it. But that wasn't the trigger, so to speak.
Truth is, I'm in a incredibly deep depression. And writing helps me to forget that fact.
Now, let me clarify one important detail. Depression does not mean sad. I'm not sad. I'm not happy either, though. When I say I am depressed, what I'm saying is that I don't feel emotions.
I can still feel something, though. I can feel things in the moment. I can laugh, and have a good time. I can get angry. I can feel things in the moment. But they are fleeting, as soon as that moment has passed, I go back to feeling flat. Nothing lingers. If anything, that fact makes the depression even harder to deal with. I get to have moments of feeling normal, and then it's gone. It's like a long time friend came to visit, hung around just long enough to make me remember why we were friends, and then left before we could catch up at all.
"Oh, hey, I actually feel pretty good! That's funny! I'm laughing!"
10 minutes later...
"Wait, where are you going emotions? Come back. I miss you..."
"Hello? Emotions? Are you still there?"
It's suffocating.
Another thing that doesn't help is that I know exactly why I'm in this depression. I know exactly when it started. Now, I've always been a logical man. I am a problem solver. The vast majority of the time, if I know the root of a problem, solving it is incredibly easy. It's very frustrating to know the root, and still have no real solution. That being said, here's the root. Or roots, as it may be.
I feel incredibly unfulfilled and stressed. I know what I'm capable of. I know what my strengths are. And, just as importantly, what my faults are. I know how much I'm capable of accomplishing. But, my current circumstances are keeping me locked in place, unable to move forward. Unable to accomplish the things I want.
"Ready. Steady. GO!"
"It's not going!"
"Are you pushing down the pedal?"
"My foot's next to the transmission!"
"Is the brake on?"
"I forcefully removed it!"
"Is the engine on?"
"... God dammit..."
Work is especially difficult. Don't get me wrong, I love doing what I do. I've been doing this for years, and I've never really regretted that choice. But, I've been working between 5 and 6 days a week for the last 5 years, save for major holidays. And I mean major. And, it was only a few months back that I managed to get every other Saturday off. Before that, it had been 6 days a week for a very, very long time.
Now, you would think, working hours like that, I'd be taking home enough to pay my bills, right? Not really. I am not the sole employee of my business, my brother works here as well. And, truth be told, we just don't do enough business to support two employees.
Added to that is the fact that, once my brother joined the company, I opted to take a pay-cut that amounted to $5,200 annually to make our pay equal. But, there's not really a solution for that. He's not in a position to find work elsewhere, and I'd really rather not leave the business that I've poured the last 5 years of my life into.
It's like digging a hole, only the dirt that I shovel out just keeps falling back into the hole. I strive as hard as I can, and it feels like nothing ever really changes. And it's frustrating. Sticking to the metaphor, I know that I can dig like a master. I know that I am one of the best diggers out there. I just can't seem to make any progress, regardless of that.
"One-thousand two-hundred and twenty shovels of dirt in the ground."
"One-thousand two-hundred and twenty shovels of dirt"
"Scoop one out, shovel it out."
"It falls back in, One-thousand two-hundred and twenty shovels of dirt in the ground."
"... I hate this damn song..."
From week to week, I barely have enough money to go get groceries. I've been considering picking up my old mountain bike from my Mother's and riding it to work when I can to try and save more money. Rather than wal-mart or publix, I do 90% of my shopping at Dollar General.
"Thank you for choosing Wal-Mart. Can I he--"
"Shh shh, no song and dance. I just need a week's worth of rice-a-roni, and I'll be on my way."
Adding to all this is the house I live in. I moved there with my girlfriend at the time, who was working at the local hospital. Everything was fine and dandy initially. We were each responsible for half of the bills, and I was able to scrape that together. Then, the hospital forced her to resign because she was introverted.
I need to give a bit more detail. My girlfriend at the time had moved down here from New York. Now, up north, being introverted isn't really an issue. People up there don't really care that much if you look them in the eye when you talk to them, or if you keep to yourself mostly. They care about if you're doing your job.
But, here in the south, if you don't really speak up, or if you don't look into someone's eye when you talk to them, people take that as disrespect. They say you aren't a team player, and that you aren't fitting in. Which is exactly what happened to my girlfriend.
"Hey, you should look people in the eye when you talk to them."
"But I'm introverted. That makes me uncomfortable."
"But it's disrespectful."
"No, I'm not disrespecting anyone. I'm just not like that."
"ONE OF US! ONE OF US!"
They told her that she could either resign, and contact HR for placement elsewhere in the hospital, or stick around until they fired her, at which point she'd be blacklisted from working for the hospital for 12 months.
That would have been a big problem. That hospital runs pretty much every hospital within 100 miles, save for one. And that one is a private hospital with an incredibly low turn-over rate, so it's very hard to get a job there. So, they effectively made her resign. Which meant no unemployment benefits to help her bridge the gap.
"You're not fitting in. We think you need to resign."
"But I don't want to resign. I want to work."
"Resign or we'll make sure you can't work for a year."
"... Who do I hand my resignation in to?"
End result? She had to move back to New York and accept a job there. This left me with a lease on a house that costs much more than I could afford. Fortunately, I did manage to get a room mate very quickly, an old friend from high school. But, he couldn't, and still can't afford to pay more than one-third of the total bills. I don't begrudge him that, I was aware of that when I let him move in. But it still makes things difficult.
I don't have extra money. I don't spend anything extra, and squirrel away every penny I can. Then the first comes around, and it's gone. I feel like I'm going through the same cycle every month. Work, save, work, save, rent, broke.
I have a similar cycle for my days. Wake up, feed dogs, go to work, do whatever I can while at work, come home, feed dogs, watch Netflix, eat at some point, go to bed. It's a terrible rut.
And, because of the money issues, there's very little that can be done about it. Can't very well go out when I can barely afford food. I can't even get my dogs checked for worms so I can get them back on there flea and heart worm preventative. A fact that does not make me feel better about things, since I already know they've all got fleas.
"Daddy, we're itchy."
"Yes Mouse, I know you are."
"Don't you love us?"
"Yes Mouse, of course I love you."
"Then why don't you make us not itchy?"
"Because daddy is very poor, Mouse."
"But you're not itchy. We're itchy"
"Yes, and daddy is hungry. You're not hungry."
"But we're--"
"Go play with Maya, Mouse."
"OK DADDY!"
I've gotten so low at times that I've had... Let's say very unhealthy thoughts. No tendencies, just very unhealthy thoughts.
"That wall on the side of the road looks friendly..."
"Hi random car! Do you want to be friends!"
"Oh, he wants to be friends! I could just tu--HOLY FUCK NO!"
"Where are you going car? I thought we'd be friends?"
"BEGONE FOUL WALL DEMON!"
However, all that being said, I've not given up hope. I've always been an incredibly optimist, and I know that eventually, things will improve. I will find a way out of this rut, and out of this financial hole I've found myself in, and the stress will abate. I know that if I hold on, I will find what I'm searching for in life.
I know how smart I am. How talented I am with my hands. I may not be all that strong, or all that handsome, but I make up for that with a level of empathy it seems few people have anymore. I know that, to my very core, I am a good person. Selfless and caring.
I know that it gets better.
"Know what? I'm a damn fine man, just like my Mom raised me to be."
"Yes you are Daddy, we love you"
"I love you too, Mouse, Maya, and George. Now fetch me a corn dog."
September 9, 2013
The Awakening - Prologue
Dreams are power.
Hopes are strength.
All things that reside within humans vibrate with hidden strength. Strength they never once believed in. Never once sought to tap into. Energy that slowly grew, until it was no longer content with being ignored and forsaken.
There was nothing remarkable about that day. There was no aligning of stars and planets. No wave of energy from the sun. No hidden movement of the plates that made up the surface of the blue-green marble they called Earth. It was a day like any other, wholly unremarkable.
At least, until it began. The events of that day, confused and as poorly recorded as they may have been, would echo through history for as long as history continued to exist. No amount of science or searching would reveal what caused the Awakening, as it would come to be called.
Nobody would even know what it was that brought magic forcefully back into the world.
But, the why didn't matter. What did matter was what happened when it returned...
September 8, 2013
Alabama Tech Support
Yup, you saw it in the title. That's where I live. I own and operate a computer repair place here in my home town. It's sometimes slow, the pay isn't great, and I'm often eating ramen and rice-a-roni to save enough to make rent. But, it's honest work. Honest work that I'm going to share with all of you.
Here's a bit of a note guys. If you go into a place that does service, be it on your car, or your computer, or even just your vacuum, please realize that the person behind the counter is being paid, day in and day out, to know about what they are working on. That's their job. That's all they're expected to do. Know how to figure out what's wrong, and how to fix it. Well, and then fix it, of course.
With that out of the way, here's a little story about a particularly insistent and impatient customer that I had this last Friday. Now, this gentlemen had been in about a month prior with a laptop that he said was overheating. According to him, the issue had been around for a few months.
Unfortunately, he waited to bring it to me until it had already stopped booting. By that point, the damage had been done, and short of putting a new motherboard in a laptop that was almost a decade old, there wasn't anything I could do. So, I pulled his hard drive, sold him an external box for it, and put the drive in it. Quick, easy, done.
He returned on the Friday in question with the drive, saying nothing he plugged it into would recognize it. So, I plugged it in, and sure enough, no drive was detected. So, I started running a little program on it.
Bit of info, what I assumed was wrong was that the partition info had been lost. On a hard drive, Windows and other operating systems create what is called a partition, the actual usable space on a hard drive where all your programs and pictures go.
The software that I decided to run was a little utility that scans through the drive looking for indications of the beginning and ends of partitions to try and rebuild the partition table. It runs a bit like checkdisk, checking the entire drive. Now, my customer absolutely insisted that it was wasted time, that the partition info is at the beginning of the drive, and nowhere else. That there are no markers or anything elsewhere. He refused to listen to me about it. He backed all of this up by saying he used to write the device drivers for hard drives.
For DOS and UNIX...
In the 80's...
Needless to say, this was more than a little frustrating.
I no longer knew how to identify with this man. Did he think that technology stopped progressing after he left the industry? Did he believe that they never made any real, tangible changes to file systems since the 80's? How could I explain how this worked to a man who believed that computer tech from the 80's was so incredibly streamlined and secure that nobody had modified it in the last few decades?
Spoiler alert: I couldn't. Nobody could.
No matter how many times I said that they had changed that, that the markers were added in for redundancy, he insisted that these markers just did not exist, regardless of the fact that I'd probably know a bit better, since I'd been working on them in this millennium.
It got better though. After the first hour and a half, he said, "Oh, wait, I remember now, we added in a backup of the partition tables in an unknown sector in the middle of the drive!"
WHAT?! Do you even know what you're saying?! How would you even do that?! Partitions take up entire, concurrent spaces on the drive, you can't just pick up a few sectors right in the middle, use them for something else, and expect the partition to just continue on and ignore it! And what's this 'unknown' crap? Even if you could do that, operating systems would have to know where that sector is so that it wouldn't use it. If the sector is different for different models of drives, and unknown, then most operating systems would just write over it! And even if it was known, any drives newer than the operating system you're installing would be rendered useless.
It was truly absurd. And, throughout all this lovely banter, I had to bite my tongue so hard that I'm amazed it wasn't bleeding. While we were waiting, he started wading into topics such as politics, religion, racism, you name it. All topics on which I stand pretty much polar opposite from him. All while telling me how much more he knew about my job than I did, and doing his best to invalidate the experience I have.
Sir, if you know so much about how this stuff works, why did you even bring me the drive? Why did you even bring me the laptop, while we're at it? Why did you, someone who knows so much about this field, not think that maybe just letting it overheat for months might cause a bit of damage that couldn't be fixed with just a bit of heat-sink compound and a reload of windows?
It...
Was...
Infuriating...
After three hours at this, the issue was finally zeroed in on and fixed, and he got the data he wanted. Three fricking hours.
Did I mention he came in at 6 o'clock? Yeah. I should have left at 7. Instead, I was stuck there dealing with someone who thought they knew everything, actually knew nothing, and could not be bothered to part from the drive overnight so I could fix it and work on other stuff until 9.
It was very nice to come home to my hounds, even if they were all starving and crying to go out.
So, dear readers, please, I beg of you. Don't do this sort of stuff to people that work in the repair industries. These people get paid to do their job for a reason. Let them, and listen to them.
Unless they work at a certain tech company that operates out of a big store with a price-tag shaped logo. Avoid that place. They really don't know what they're talking about.
He arises, after a year in slumber
Oh wow, it's been ages since I posted to the blog. Just that one short story, sitting back there languishing in it's own irrelevance. So, let's fire it back up, shall we?
Now, a quick run down, go ahead and lay out the ground rules of what we'll be seeing here going forward. I'm going to try to make at least weekly updates going forward, every Monday. And it won't always be short stories either. It's going to be whatever strikes my fancy, whatever happens to be rattling around my mind. Sometimes, it will be short works of fiction, one off stories. Sometimes, I might get a bit more of an idea, and it will be a continuing story. If there's something I find particularly interesting floating around in the news, in gaming or whatever, I might have a bit of a rant. What I can promise is that I will always do my best to keep it interesting, and to keep it fresh.
So, follow along with me. Tell me what you think. Make me a better wordsmith.
Look for the first real post in over a year here in a couple hours. Time for some thinking from inside The Box.
Emperor Boxicus XXIX
Now, a quick run down, go ahead and lay out the ground rules of what we'll be seeing here going forward. I'm going to try to make at least weekly updates going forward, every Monday. And it won't always be short stories either. It's going to be whatever strikes my fancy, whatever happens to be rattling around my mind. Sometimes, it will be short works of fiction, one off stories. Sometimes, I might get a bit more of an idea, and it will be a continuing story. If there's something I find particularly interesting floating around in the news, in gaming or whatever, I might have a bit of a rant. What I can promise is that I will always do my best to keep it interesting, and to keep it fresh.
So, follow along with me. Tell me what you think. Make me a better wordsmith.
Look for the first real post in over a year here in a couple hours. Time for some thinking from inside The Box.
Emperor Boxicus XXIX
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